The Uglier Side of the Mommy Wars

March 14, 2008 · 3 comments

In Newsweek this week Susanna Schrobsdorff, writes an article entitled “Some Day My 9-5 Job will come”. She is writing about the new TLC series, “Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” and the response the new show has gotten from SAHM messageboarders.

I saw this “Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” show promoted and I thought, “what a fun idea?” As I read Ms Schrobsdorff’s article I was really interested. A fulltime at home mother of three gets the opportunity to be a fashion designer for a week, this sounds pretty good to me, they take her to New York to become a fashion designer , still sounds good to me, what a neat idea, I wonder how I can get on, and then cue the “”Debby Downer” music, please” – “WAH, WAH” – the article continues, all the stay at home mothers in the world are outraged and jam the messageboards complaining (as all SAHM’s do) and saying all of the most horrible words that are on the tip of EVERY stay at home mother who sees a working mother. Are you ready for these quotes? I’m sure you have heard them before but they still pack a wallop.

Number 3 most often thought of comment by a SAHM mom when she sees a working mother is: “The kid’s world is going to be turned upside down by a child going to daycare.”

Number 2 most often thought of comment by a SAHM mom when she sees a working mother is; “Unless you are about to starve there is no reason for you to be at work.”

and, wait for it,

the Number 1 most often thought of comment by a SAHM mom when she sees a working mother is… dah, dah, dah, “If you didn’t want to raise your children, you should not have had them.” Yes, Yes, folks, It’s the famous and oft-thought “If you didn’t want to raise your children, you should not have had them.” (This plays really well if you say like Jerry Seinfeld did on a Saturday Night Live skit where he plays a game show host.)

In order to appease the working mom, the article goes on to describe the plight of the working mom and how she doesn’t have a choice, and the high percentage of moms with children under three who are working today, and blah, blah, blah, blah. (What always kill me about those statistics by the way is that they are misleading. For example, define working mom? It may be true that “60% of American women with children under 3 are working, but, they may be working only one day a week, like I did when my first-born was two.) But I digress.

Is it fair for Newsweek, a nationally respected magazine, to report on the pulse of the American mother based on what some message boarders said about a reality-show? I know this stuff is salacious and I know everyone wants to think about the SAHM Moms and Working Moms in a big tub of mud “cat-fighting” it out, but what is that going to accomplish?

I would rather see an article about the reality show that picks the same family up after mom has returned to work. If her going back to work is really going to change the family, let’s see it, once and for all. Is it possible that her returning to work could actually help the family dynamic – like the sentiment (my favorite as a matter of fact) If mom’s happy then the whole family is happy?)

I don’t know. What do you think? Did the show “Secret Life of a Soccer Mom” bother you? If so, why? Did the Newsweek article touch a nerve? If so, what?

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Moms Lifesavers March 14, 2008

Fantastic post here…I’m off to try and TIVO the show and read the article now! Great post! :)


help4newmoms March 14, 2008

Hey thanks!


Just Batty May 8, 2008

This did hit a nerve! Especially because I didn’t know #1 was so widespread. I feel for the single mother who works to support her family!

However, my nerve comes because I work as a youth counselor for delinquent youth. And, yes believe it or not, some of those youth have stay at home moms! So, I choose to work to try and fix other peoples kids!


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